A socialist conspiracy of 400 km2!

This is it. The communists disembark on the Wilkins ice field to establish their strategy! Bearing only their hammers and sickles, the communists still managed to win over a very large portion of the ice field, about 400 square kilometres (4%), just as big as Montreal Island. Wilkins being way too large: about the size of Ontario, the communists preferred to choose a task they could actually finish. After all, they were only three! (If we believe some right-winged irrelevant sources: Mao, Stalin and Pol-Pot).

When the communists will be done refining their strategy for global warming, it will mean that they will also have managed to melt down Wilkins in its totality. In order to cut the huge ice bloc of 400 square kilometres, they figured out that the best method was still the good old hair dryer! So they traded their hammers and sickles for these hair dryers. When they will be done with the totality of the ice field, the oceans all around the world will have gained more than 70 meters, no less!

Therefore, the communists will win over capitalism, again with those devious plans meant to kill as many people as possible, hundreds of millions, and why not milliards! The authors of the “black book” on communism will then have all the freedom, on floating embarkations of course, to write the follow up of their incontestable apocalyptic master piece.

Next month hot topics: “The communists try to lure the moon from the skies so it hits the Earth.”, “The communists dive in the gulf stream with their tuba and bottles of liquid nitrogen to refresh the important flow.”, “The communists get drunk in the fields to then pee in them, just to make them acid enough to aggravate the world-wide famine.”

(Harper, Bush and Howard (ex prim-minister of Australia) all said on various occasions that global warming was a socialist scheme. These three individuals, partisans of the oil industry, spit on science as they accuse it of being nothing more than a SOCIALIST conspiracy.)

Written by Sylvain Guillemette

Translated from French by Sabbi

Young people, beware.

Let it be known that no more will we tolerate your disgusting habits of gathering and discussing anywhere. As you are all a threat to the Empire with your dreams of true liberty and revolts, we will no more allow you to gather freely. In fact, we don’t want to see you anywhere close our businesses, our train stations, our so precious establishments.

It’s well-known; you young people are nothing more than troublemakers who can’t satisfy themselves with what we are ready to offer you. You want more, but you don’t take into consideration the market laws!

We tried using the police force to teach you lessons, it didn’t work. We tried teaching you our values from your very first moments on Earth, but it wasn’t enough. Why can’t you just do like us and listen, and execute without questioning. Pshaw!

You’ve been looking for it. Now watch out for your ears because that’s what we’ll attack from now on. Obviously, every other senses we attacked weren’t enough. More and more, you will find it hard to stand in train stations, close to stores, banks, eventually in the streets. We will conceal you to where we want you to be. Don’t even think of approaching your school after the opening hours because that won’t be acceptable either.

We found the perfect system; it was invented in Europe not so long ago. At first it was used to keep away mosquitoes and animals, but now we’ve reached the perfect audible level it touches you, who are still growing up. Us, adults who have learned how the system must work and how to preserve it, unlike you: ignorants.

If you’ve never heard of it, it’s called Mosquito and more and more enterprises and public services are starting to use it to protect the properties you crave to destroy and mark by your identity crisis. It produces a noise of about 17 000 and 18 000 hertz, strong enough to be an aggravating annoyance to those of less than 25 years old. In fact, you should test it out. Prepare yourself for our ultimate attack because you won’t be done with it anytime soon. Our influence is spreading throughout the world. Not all countries are as idiotic as Belgium, to ban the sale of our saviour. Dare you claim it’s against human rights! Humans have decided they have way too many rights to start with; it’s time to put a stop to this non-sense!

Come…come…we’ll be ready for you.

http://www.trianglerouge.be/mosquito/ressources.php

- Sabbi